Another ArtistDex update for you guys tonight! This time it’s a lovely Madame Boss done by Colleen Clark, whose Tumblr gallery is HERE. Female villains FTW!
For those not aware, “Madame Boss” is anime!Giovanni’s mother (and the former head of Team Rocket); she appeared in only one extremely obscure place–the first part of a five-part CD drama called “The Birth of Mew” that was only ever released in Japan. It’s so old at this point that most Japanese fans probably aren’t aware of it, either! If you’re interested, you can read a full, professional translation of “The Birth of Mew” HERE.
Children cost so much money, don’t they? My little brat boy at home is horrible!
“
| — | Madame Boss (Giovanni’s mother), Birth of Mewtwo CD drama |
((I can’t be held responsible for anything I draw under the influence of the crayon setting…))
can’t tell if this makes more or less sense than “steal rocket fuel and throw into volcano for the lulz”
Spoilers: screencaps from the 2nd part of the Rocket 2-parter
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HERO, Giovanni, he was contemplating his own magnificence in a magic mirror raised from the depths of Undella Bay via crazy magical Meloetta-induced shenanigans.
what’s left for a man to do but start SUMMONING SOME AWESOME CRAZY SHIT?
“there is definitely no way anything bad could ever happen right now because no one in our universe has ever done this exact thing before at any point in time and had it go wrong”
“you said it, jessie”
meanwhile some homeless children are desperately attempting to integrate themselves into the plot
lance was busy and looker’s on vacation so Cynthia is tagging along today
but too bad for them because Giovanni is kickin’ this plot into HIGH GEAR
what did he summon???
SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
“all right, where are the instructions on this thing? OK, tilt to aim–”
“uhhh boss I don’t think you’re actually supposed to be able to–”
FUCK THAT NOISE
NOBODY TELLS GIOVANNI WHAT IS POSSIBLE, GIOVANNI DECIDES WHAT IS POSSIBLE BY WHAT HE CHOOSES TO DO WITH HIS DAY WHEN HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING
AND IF HE WAKES UP FEELING LIKE A BOX OF FROOT LOOPS THEN SHUT UP AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT BECAUSE CRAZY SHIT IS GONNA GO RIGHT THE FUCK ON DOWN
BEHOLD! THE MAKEOVER OF LEGENDS!
……
……giovanni
u ok
suddenly Giovanni starts trying to use the magic mirror to bend the three ancient spirits to his malevolent will!!
so yeah, he’s actually totally fine
unfortunately our resident band of homeless children have a problem with all of the uncontained awesomeness floating around out here and decide to put a stop to it
WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, KIDS
there’s a big-ass fight but IDGAF so use your imagination
the only good part is Giovanni existing in the middle of it
“CERM ON PERKACHU, WE HAVE TER SERVE DER WERLD”
“FOOLISH CHILD, you think you can defeat the Therian forms of these legendary Pokemon with only a single Pikachu?”
“he’ll have to get through US first!”
unfortunately our heroes have inexplicably forgotten one very important fact…
…Pikachu is at level 500.
“PERKACHER USE YER ERLERTRIC ERTERK”
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU——
—UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—-
—UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
……HOLY SHIT HE’S DEAD!
HOLY SHIT HE ISN’T DEAD
MOTHER OF CHRIST
WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION
SHIT DUDE
SHIT SHIT SHIT
HE’S GONNA FUCKING KILL HIMSELF WITH CRAZY OR SOMETHING, GODDAMN WHAT IS HAPPENING I DON’T EVEN
“Looks like the boss has finally cracked, Jessie.”
“That means there’s only one thing to do, James.”
…………
So what are you two gonna do, guys??? I mean you could just leave….this is the guy who you’ve been trying to impress unsuccessfully for 15 years, to the point that he spent most of your careers not actually knowing who you even were or whether you were still hired, and who’s given you nothing but reprimands on the very few occasions you’ve talked to him prior to getting sent to Unova. At this point you have your own identities as people that are only pretending to be tied to his approval and at the end of the day, you’ve seen enough of his character over the years to know he’s a truly despicable human being whose only concerns are acquiring wealth and power, who treats his pet cat better than the three of you–
OH FUCK
WHAT IS
HAPPENING RIGHT NOW I CAN’T
SWEET ODIN’S MUSTACHE
ARE THEY ACTUALLY
FUCKING SAVING THIS MAN’S LIFE I CAN’T
FEELS
FUCKING FEELS EVERYWHERE AT THIS WONDERFUL FOOLISHNESS
so yeah, being tackled twelve feet to the ground was apparently enough to snap Gio out of his demonic possession and Zager apologies for not doing more science to figure out that oh yeah, that was a thing that could maybe happen
Gio is a chill motherfucker though, he just has his fucking GOLD STAR EMPLOYEES OF THE MONTH assist him back to da choppa
“hey kids, can you like–clean all our shit up? the therian trio is still flying around and yeah, we pretty much don’t give a fuck what happens to meloetta now so if you want things to not be fucked up around here, do it your damn self”
and the kids clean up the Rockets’ mess.
But the real ending…..
….is the whole family in the chopper heading home…..
…..never to return to Unova? Only time will tell.
So, Giovanni–what valuable, life-changing lessons are you taking away from this whole experience?
“Lessons? I didn’t learn a goddamn thing.”
And that is why we love you.
